Timeline

2/20/08 - BM finds out he was passed up for a promotion at work.  I send him an email and tell him that other opportunities are ahead because he is living righteously
March '08 - BFH tells him at work that she is up for anything even though he is married - he goes to her house that night
March-April '08 - BM is acting REALLY happy.  I think it's an answer to my prayers - because he is in his last semester of college and FINALLY completing his degree.  He tells me he is going to the "library" every night. I'm suspicious but can't prove anything until he goes to library on night when library is closed for weekend.
4/25/08 - I confront him.  He tells me he is in love and has never felt this way before - even about me.  I kick him out
4/26/08 - He comes back the next day and tells the kids that he has found a chance to be happy and that he is taking it. My oldest tells him to repent and he says - "No - I don't want to"
4/26/08 - He comes back a few hours later and says that he decided that he wants to make it work - the kids take him back with open arms - how can I kick him out infront of the kids?  He did that on purpose
May '08 - I'm desperately trying to find a marriage counselor but there is a LONG waiting list
6/3/08 - He has his church disciplinary counsel. I don't go in with him for the confession (it's too hard, I now regret that).  I go in with him for the verdict - he is disfellowshipped.
6/4/08 - He showed true remorse and was tearful the rest of last night so I cancel my appt with the divorce attorney (I regret this now)
June - July '08 - We go to a marriage counselor. She is a nut job.  She hits on him and tells me that I am idealic and brainwashed into thinking men shouldn't cheat.  I get up and walkout and don't go back.
7/21/08 - BFH leaves state and goes and lives in a hippie commune
Aug '08 - I have a good birthday because of my friends.  He is a jerk to me.  The next day he gets physically violent with me.
Sep - Dec '08 - More of the same. I can't sleep, eat or stop crying.  I've lost 25 lbs so far. I live on 1 bag of frozen veggies per week - and water (I say to refill my tear ducts)
Dec '08 - His work Christmas party - if I could count the # of women who came up and gave him a hug or looked me over and made my radar go off I'd be a rich woman.
Jan '09 - We find a great counselor.  She cuts through his crap but hints that I need to move on
Feb '09 - He takes me on a Valentine's Day trip to NYC.  My BFF says that I am "whoring myself out for a trip to NYC" - she is right.
Mar '09 - He assaults me viciously infront of kids - I have him arrested.  I get a protective order and kick him out.
Jan - Mar '09 - He starts seeing DSM.  He gets a sexual harrassment complaint filed against him at work by a different girl. (BFH and DSM enjoy his hitting on him - obviously this girl didn't)
Apr '09 - He talks his way back into the house because he says he has nowhere else to go and that he wants to be with me and the kids (whatever..but I buy it) He is seeing DSM behind my back
May '09 - He is texting DSM during one of his kids' birthday parties.  I wonder does he get some perverse charge out of doing things like that? I guess so
June '09 - He says he wants to work on things but then does really rude things and tells me being married to me is like being in prison
July '09 - He tells me that he thinks we should start spending every other weekend on a vacation (and not together).  He goes on motorcycle rides each weekend and doesn't come back home until 5:30 in the morning. He tells me that I just need to trust him and that he needs to give me more opportunities to make me nervous so that I can work through MY neurosis....WHATEVER!  I hire my 1st Private Invesigator - Shaggy and Scooby - they were horrible
Aug '09 - He takes me out to dinner, he is a total JERK to me, makes me feel like a pity date.  It was misery.  It sucked.  When I got home I went to bed.  He came upstairs and woke me up later and TRIED to consummate things - his phone rings and I find out about DSM - I'm glad I shot him down.  I kicked him out
I hire my 2nd PI - Matlock - he follows BM to DSM's parents house. He sneaks in after DSM's daddy (RND) goes to work down at the factory and then sneaks out b4 RND gets home.  BM still goes to church with us and comes over for FHE, tells me that we are just taking a break but that our marriage will endure
Sep '09 - I find a love card in my car.  I call and confront DSM.  She lies about almost everything.  She is a trash-mouthed fighter that likes to brawl to settle things.  She told me several times that if I wanted to meet to settle things then she would meet me some place to fight me......really? what is the prize my adulterous husband...some prize..I told her she can have him
Oct '09 - I catch her over at his house in the middle of night. I have my PI with me.  It gets documented
Nov '09- My PI says that we have enough and puts together a report.  I give it to my attorney
Dec '09 - I wait and wait and WAIT and WAIT and WAIT. I finally get word. We have enough to file on grounds of ADULTERY and CRUELTY
Jan '10 - 1st court date - he doesnt show, 2nd court date - he doesnt show.  I am awarded sole custody.  I am awards all the child support I am asking for and marital debt support. The judge is "unimpressed" with BM's lack of regard for the legal process and the fact that he is not paying child support
Jan '10 - BM gets a ridiculous tatoo on his arm - now I know what the child support $ he wasn't paying went to.  After BM finds out that he has to start paying child support he FREAKS out on me - tells me I'm divorcing him for NO REASON - making up stories about him having affairs when he NEVER did - and that he won't be able to see the kids AT ALL because he will be HAVE to get a 2nd job....somehow I don't feel sorry for him...He tells me that I can't handle the kids by myself and I say - "really?  looks to me like that's already what I've been doing"