Lots of Fighting

The past couple of months we have been doing better in a few areas. We have been avoiding a lot of topics and discussions and pretending they don't exist. This week has been a horrible week.

Monday - fine
Tuesday - didnt see him all day, came home immediately left to go and play basketball with his new 20-something buddies
Wednesday - He got upset with me because he said that when he calls he wants me to be available to him
Thursday - I'm getting sick, he ignored me
Friday- He said he wanted to go play basketball again. I told him that I was going to let him decide his own priorities and that I wanted him to WANT to spend time with me and the kids. He said all I needed to do was to tell him if I would rather have him stay home but I told him that I wanted him to be able to make that determination for himself. He went and played ball - I didnt care - he would have ignored me anyway
Saturday - I made a snide comment to my friend about him infront of him. I apologized. He was pissed. I left him alone for a while and I needed to work out my feelings as well. I came to him later and had a good cry and told him about the anger I have inside because of all of the hurtful things he has done to me and that I havent been able to forgive him and get over it. He listened to me and gave me a hug. I felt validated. I took the older kids to a movie and then we read scriptures when I got home and then things took a turn for the worst.....

He reminded me that he is going to go to a pro-basketball game in April. I said that is fine -- it was fine. I asked him "when are you going to get taxes done?" ---silence ---

"can you please get them done next weekend?" ... no answer... no yes .. no no.. nothing!

I ask it again....he says he doesnt know. He said he will get them done before April 15th.

I say "could you get them done before the end of March?" - same thing...nothing

I snap at him "Why is this a GAME? Why do you have to act so coy?" I snap this as our youngest starts throwing up for the 5th time because she has the stomach flu

He storms downstairs and ignores all the times that I get up with her, even though he is downstairs watching TV, he cant get off of his lazy duff and help out, I have to wake up and help.

I HAVE TO DO EVERYTHING! He is here to plan his leisure activities!

I try to go back to bed - I've been woken up too many times. I sit and STEW and stew and STEW!

About an hour has past...

I go downstairs and wake him up so we can talk.

I explain to him the reasons why I want to know when taxes are going to get done.

I guess none of those are reasonable he tells me he will F-in do them when he F-in wants to and that it will be before april 15th....

I tell him we need a "communication break"

actually I'm scared he is going to punch me!

I hate being married to him. I wish he would leave.